It’s very normal for humans experiencing loss and needing comfort to turn on themselves instead, feeling blame or shame.

Life can be incredibly challenging, and we all make poor choices or take actions we regret. Yet when you stay in a place of blame and shame with yourself, it can slow down your ability to move on, heal, and take advantage of the supportive people, opportunities, and resources grace sends into your life.

Forgiveness usually happens gradually, so simply practice being more kind and loving to yourself in your thoughts if you feel you have something to forgive yourself for. If you’re really struggling with blaming and shaming yourself after a loss, be sure to reach out to a supportive counselor. Grace is another word for mercy, and we all deserve that.