They have had to wait over a year to start their IVF journey due to the complexities of early menopause, but finally, Joanna and her husband Alan are about to begin the free round of IVF that we here at IVF babble were thrilled to give them, courtesy of the lovely team at Clinica Tambre in Spain
Here, Joanna tells us about the tough journey she has had so far.
Joanna:This year will be 12 years that we have been trying to conceive We started to try when we got married, i was 24, Alan was 26. We tried for 1 year with no luck. The GP sent us to start IVF and we did 2 rounds with my own eggs – 1 round successful but we lost at 6 weeks, and the 2nd round didn’t work. A while later I started having flushes and headaches, so I went to the GP for bloods and found out I was in menopause. The GP kindly wrote to the CCG to ask for a 3rd round of IVF on the NHS as I was so young with no kids. This time we used donor eggs. Out of all the eggs, only 1 worked, again lost again around 6 weeks.
IVFB: Your diagnosis of early menopause means that you are using a donor egg. How have you found the experience so far?
Joanna: I was always against using donor eggs. I wanted it to be my eggs, but once I had the ultimatum – either use the donor eggs or maybe never become a mum, donor eggs didn’t seem so bad. I did lots of research and I was happy to continue.
IVFB: How did you choose your donor? Was it an emotional decision?
Joanna: The clinic took pictures of myself from a few different angles and took details of my skin, eye colour etc in order for them to match me to a suitable donor. To be honest though, I don’t really care how my baby would look as long as I could become a mum.
Joanna: We did have one counselling session when we first started the journey but haven’t had anything since then.
IVFB: You and your husband have been through so much in your fight to become parents. Has your journey put a strain on your relationship with your husband?
Joanna: I always blamed myself, saying that its my fault this isn’t working, that my own eggs are no good and now the donor eggs aren’t sticking, but Alan has been great. He reassures me its not my fault. I think going through 12 years of pain and heartache has made us both stronger people and makes us realise how good we are for each other.
IVFB: You have had to wait to start your IVF due to various reasons. Can you talk us through these reasons?
Joanna: Because I am on HRT I have to use estrogen gel. If I use to much I get bad migraines, if I use to less I get flushes etc. I have only been using 1.5 pumps per day but I don’t bleed with this amount. So because I need to bleed to start the IVF, I have had to up the gel, which hasn’t been good. I have had bad migraines and dizziness, but I need the extra gel to bleed. So I haven’t been feeling good for a few months until my hormones settled and started to get used to the higher hormone. Then I started bleeding earlier than I should have done so I couldn’t start the IVF medication until I was off the progesterone which I take from the 1st to the 14th of every month, but I was bleeding before the 14th. I have now spoken to my women’s consultant and she has agreed I can stop my progesterone earlier if I bleed, as a one time thing just so i can finally start the IVF!
IVFB: We all know how the passing of time feels when you are desperate to become a mother. It feels like it is racing by!! How have you managed to stay calm whilst waiting?
Joanna: I think because we have always had bad news and let downs when it has come to IVF we are so used to it, its just another day for us. We just stay happy and plan trips away or days out.
IVFB: You have chosen to keep this IVF journey quite private, from friends and family. Is this because you find it added pressure?
IVFB: So what are the next steps?
Joanna: If I bleed in Aug then I will start the IVF medication and start the whole process, then book to go over to Madrid for the day to have the transfer. I feel if this round doesn’t work then we need to defiantly come to terms with not becoming a mum and dad and try to be happy as a 2 person family as i feel we are drained and can’t ever say we didn’t put everything we have in to this whole process – maybe it was just not meant to be and we have bigger things coming in our lives in the future we need to be ready for.
We send all of our love to Joanna and Alan and pray that this is their time. Huge love and thanks also to Clinica Tambre for their continued support and guidance. We will keep in touch with the Joanna, Alan and Clinica Tambre and will hopefully report back with wonderful news!!
Have you been through the early menopause and therefore needed to go through IVF? What was the experience like? We would love to hear from you. Drop us a line at sara@ivfbabble.com.
https://www.ivfbabble.com/egg-donation-explained/
