People like to talk about themselves, so if you want to stand out, be an avenue for them to do so. As Vanderbloemen tells mindbodygreen, ask them questions, and further, questions about things they enjoy.

Superlative questions like “What’s your biggest accomplishment?” can feel threatening, he explains, while questions about their favorite book, best vacation, or childhood hero will all be met with a smile and a story.

“[Questions like these] liberate the person from having to come up with a superior answer, and they can just talk about something they really like,” Vanderbloemen says.

He also notes that this is a good way to tell if you’re dealing with someone who’s self absorbed, because if they don’t reciprocate questions, that’s a red flag.